Questions & Answers

Q. Dear Dr. Toni: I have two little girls, 9 and 6. My 9-year-old is so easy to discipline - she pretty much listens and does what she is told. My 6-year-old, Sally, is just the opposite. The more we discipline her, the more she misbehaves. My husband, who is very strict, gets very impatient with her. We are very confused and tired. Can you help us?

A. It sounds to me like you have two very different little girls and they probably need to be treated very differently.

My guess is that Sally has learned that she can get a lot of attention (albeit negative) for misbehaving. I suggest that you put your emphasis on motivating her to behave. Most children, especially young ones, respond well to point charts, with smiles for good behavior. You also might want to try to give Sally a little more slack, since she might be reacting to the strictness and rigidity as much as the actual discipline.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Toni Saunders, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist who is a popular speaker, author and television guest expert.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________